It will take time and trust...

It’s funny how things that once made me smile now make me sad. But it’s a strange sort of sad, not devastation or even a disappointment but a longing for something that was lost. And yet, there’s a peace to it all. The knowledge of doing right overcomes this sadness, more strongly at times than others but still dominant. It’s a struggle between the desires selfish and selfless. It’s a fight for trust and to whom it belongs. And I know who will win, and I’m glad. Nevertheless it’s still a constant battle, and sometimes my soul sides with the eventual loser. It listens to the memories that were, the comforts that existed, and the deadened hopeful wishes. But my spirit discards these as imposters, as lies that must be silenced. And they will be. It’s all a process, slow as of yet, but gaining momentum. This so-called war is fought every day, but eventually, my soul will adhere to my spirit as my spirit adheres to the Spirit of the Most High. I long for that day, the day when the pain subsides, the sadness dies, and instead freedom abides! And I will praise the Lord, even now, but more joyously then, for He is faithful, my refuge, trustworthy, my deliverer…and so much more that cannot be described. To Him I give all honor and glory and praise…forever!