It’s difficult this time
Maybe every time
But easier to ignore
Before
I’m not good with goodbye
You are
Or you’re not
But at least you tell the truth
I lie
I’m okay with goodbye
I’m just terrible at saying goodbye
To you
I’m tired of it
I’m tired of forever goodbyes
Not just for a short time
But adieu
Maybe it’s not
You say
But maybe you’ll forget
And it’s harder
Because I won’t forget
Because the truth is
You’re in my heart
And I don’t want to let go
Even if it hurts
Because if I’m honest
If I weren’t afraid
I would just tell you that
Te extraño
Makaligtaan i mo
Kaipaan sinua
Tu me manques
I miss you
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Lessons Learned in Texas
Howdy, folks! (for those of you who don't know, "howdy" means hello in Texas :p)
I've almost been in Texas three full weeks now; it's crazy, I know. Before this, I had never visited this grand state so it's all new to me! It's been a pretty fun experience so far, although I feel like I'm still getting used to it.
My first few days here were rough for me, I admit. I think I cried more those first few days than I have the whole rest of the year so far combined...seriously. BUT through that, I learned some valuable things. And I will attempt to share those here.
Maybe you're asking, 'Why were those days so rough?' Well, although I've been many places in the world and have had many experiences of being in completely new places with completely new people, it was here in Texas that I found the hardest to deal with. I came to Texas knowing no one. I had no one to hang out with, no one around to talk to, and no idea where to find these things. For the first time, I learned how much I needed other people in my life. I've been privileged enough wherever else I've been to have people around me to encourage me, but I never realized just how vital they were.
The Word says in Hebrews 3 to 'encourage one another daily' and in other passages it shows how messengers were sent to encourage other believers. But, coming to my second point, I was too proud most of the time to admit that I needed people. I'm naturally an introvert, but that doesn't mean that I can survive without people. It just means that I need people in a different way. And because of my pride, I was too stubborn to call and friend for some encouragement. But, finally, I got desperate enough and realized how dumb it was for me to go on like that. So, I called some family members and some friends and asked them to pray for me. That's when things started to look up (I'll get more to why in a few paragraphs). But the simple concept here is this: only when I gave up my pride could I be free to have the joy the Lord meant for me to have, whatever the circumstances.
And my third point is going to sound contradictory to the first, but here it is: I learned how much I don't need people. What I mean by that, of course, is that God is the source of my inner joy, not other people. During those few days of utter loneliness, God never left me. In fact, even those few days taught me how to rely on God more and truly cry out to him. I'm even glad for those days because they brought me closer with Him and definitely set me on the right path of seeking Him above anything or anyone else this summer. I'm definitely guilty of getting so "involved" in other things that I miss out on sweet times with Jesus, but I don't want distractions anymore! I want to focus on the Living God, who trumps anything this world has to offer!!!
And now on to the days after my brief 'depression'. But first a short trip back there: in one of my quiet times with the Lord, he laid on my heart Psalm 68. And several verses spoke to me, but there is one in particular that I clung to as a promise. In verse 6 it says, 'God sets the lonely in families...' I knew that God was speaking to my heart and showing me that everything was going to be okay. This summer was ordained by Him, and He wasn't going to fail me after He brought me here. So I prayed that back to the Lord and just thanked Him for all that He is and especially being there for me always, even when I fail to realize it.
And then, things started falling into place. I found a Chi Alpha group at the nearby University of Houston. And after my first Bible study with them, I knew that was God's answer to me. Everyone was so genuine and loving. I'm so thankful for all of the people that I've met there so far and even more thankful for good Christian fellowship and discussions about the Word. The campus directors are so awesome and have the cutest newborn baby boy; yet, they are still so hospitable, even inviting me over for dinner. I've also gotten to go out to eat with a few others from the group on a couple of occasions, and I've really enjoyed getting to know each of them! I'm so excited for the summer, and now I'm sure it's actually going to be difficult to leave my new friends, even after the short time spent with them. But praise the Lord; He is faithful!
On the work side, things have been going well. Of course, it's a little boring at times without a normal job description and tasks, but I enjoy what I've been working on. And another praise report is that both my manager and his manager are believers! I was praying before I came for the man I'd be working under, trying to prepare for someone who I wanted to set a good example for and hopefully get to share the Gospel with at some point if that were the situation I found when I came. But come to find out, my manager is saved and even mentioned taking 'introduce intern to Jesus' off his task list for the summer. And though I still want to be a diligent worker for the glory of God, it's relieving to know that I'm working under people who, too, work for the Most High.
I've also gotten involved with a great church in the area and have met some awesome fellow interns as well. I'm still not sure I see the exact purpose of why God brought me here, and maybe I'll never know, but I pray that I continue to stay sensitive to the Holy Spirit while I'm here. Please pray for me that I be the witness that God has called me to be, especially at work. There are so many that I get the privilege of spending time with here that don't normally have time to hang out at Purdue; also, there are others that I may never see again, and I want to make sure to make every moment count.
To God be the glory, forever and ever!
I've almost been in Texas three full weeks now; it's crazy, I know. Before this, I had never visited this grand state so it's all new to me! It's been a pretty fun experience so far, although I feel like I'm still getting used to it.
My first few days here were rough for me, I admit. I think I cried more those first few days than I have the whole rest of the year so far combined...seriously. BUT through that, I learned some valuable things. And I will attempt to share those here.
Maybe you're asking, 'Why were those days so rough?' Well, although I've been many places in the world and have had many experiences of being in completely new places with completely new people, it was here in Texas that I found the hardest to deal with. I came to Texas knowing no one. I had no one to hang out with, no one around to talk to, and no idea where to find these things. For the first time, I learned how much I needed other people in my life. I've been privileged enough wherever else I've been to have people around me to encourage me, but I never realized just how vital they were.
The Word says in Hebrews 3 to 'encourage one another daily' and in other passages it shows how messengers were sent to encourage other believers. But, coming to my second point, I was too proud most of the time to admit that I needed people. I'm naturally an introvert, but that doesn't mean that I can survive without people. It just means that I need people in a different way. And because of my pride, I was too stubborn to call and friend for some encouragement. But, finally, I got desperate enough and realized how dumb it was for me to go on like that. So, I called some family members and some friends and asked them to pray for me. That's when things started to look up (I'll get more to why in a few paragraphs). But the simple concept here is this: only when I gave up my pride could I be free to have the joy the Lord meant for me to have, whatever the circumstances.
And my third point is going to sound contradictory to the first, but here it is: I learned how much I don't need people. What I mean by that, of course, is that God is the source of my inner joy, not other people. During those few days of utter loneliness, God never left me. In fact, even those few days taught me how to rely on God more and truly cry out to him. I'm even glad for those days because they brought me closer with Him and definitely set me on the right path of seeking Him above anything or anyone else this summer. I'm definitely guilty of getting so "involved" in other things that I miss out on sweet times with Jesus, but I don't want distractions anymore! I want to focus on the Living God, who trumps anything this world has to offer!!!
And now on to the days after my brief 'depression'. But first a short trip back there: in one of my quiet times with the Lord, he laid on my heart Psalm 68. And several verses spoke to me, but there is one in particular that I clung to as a promise. In verse 6 it says, 'God sets the lonely in families...' I knew that God was speaking to my heart and showing me that everything was going to be okay. This summer was ordained by Him, and He wasn't going to fail me after He brought me here. So I prayed that back to the Lord and just thanked Him for all that He is and especially being there for me always, even when I fail to realize it.
And then, things started falling into place. I found a Chi Alpha group at the nearby University of Houston. And after my first Bible study with them, I knew that was God's answer to me. Everyone was so genuine and loving. I'm so thankful for all of the people that I've met there so far and even more thankful for good Christian fellowship and discussions about the Word. The campus directors are so awesome and have the cutest newborn baby boy; yet, they are still so hospitable, even inviting me over for dinner. I've also gotten to go out to eat with a few others from the group on a couple of occasions, and I've really enjoyed getting to know each of them! I'm so excited for the summer, and now I'm sure it's actually going to be difficult to leave my new friends, even after the short time spent with them. But praise the Lord; He is faithful!
On the work side, things have been going well. Of course, it's a little boring at times without a normal job description and tasks, but I enjoy what I've been working on. And another praise report is that both my manager and his manager are believers! I was praying before I came for the man I'd be working under, trying to prepare for someone who I wanted to set a good example for and hopefully get to share the Gospel with at some point if that were the situation I found when I came. But come to find out, my manager is saved and even mentioned taking 'introduce intern to Jesus' off his task list for the summer. And though I still want to be a diligent worker for the glory of God, it's relieving to know that I'm working under people who, too, work for the Most High.
I've also gotten involved with a great church in the area and have met some awesome fellow interns as well. I'm still not sure I see the exact purpose of why God brought me here, and maybe I'll never know, but I pray that I continue to stay sensitive to the Holy Spirit while I'm here. Please pray for me that I be the witness that God has called me to be, especially at work. There are so many that I get the privilege of spending time with here that don't normally have time to hang out at Purdue; also, there are others that I may never see again, and I want to make sure to make every moment count.
To God be the glory, forever and ever!
Friday, June 17, 2011
...in Lebanon
So, it's taken me awhile to post this, but I thought I should FINALLY get around to it. As I mentioned in my last post, I traveled to Lebanon (the country, not the city :p) in May. I went with Purdue Global Engineering Program, working with rainwater harvesting and urban upgrade.
There was a team of us (Bassel, Tiago, Alaina, Ji, and me), and we spent all semester working on this proposal and project. It was a lot of learning, researching, writing, and presenting, but it was definitely worth it! The trip was amazing, and I'll try to give it justice in this post (although I know I won't be able to).
Because much of our work had been done ahead of time because of the nature of our project, we had a few days of presentations and discussions once we arrived in Lebanon, but much of the time we got to really experience life and culture there. One of the neatest things about the country was all of the eras that were still able to be seen. We got to see sites that date back to the Bible, the days of the Roman and Ottoman empires, and then we got to see modern day monuments and buildings that remind us of more recent events.
There were also a lot of beautiful things in nature that we got to see. The cedars of Lebanon were definitely a sight to behold, and we also got to see much along the coast of the Mediterranean. We even got to visit a cave that is on the list to become a new world wonder! It was awesome!
Bassel was the leader of our team, and he is originally from Lebanon so it was awesome having him showing us around and explaining things to us. We also got to meet many of his friends from the American University of Beirut (AUB). Everyone was very friendly and welcoming; it made the experience very fun! We also got to meet his family; we had lunch at their house one day, and it was sooooo delicious! I could not thank everyone there enough for all their hospitality.
All of that awesomeness being said, Lebanon was one of the most challenging and eye-opening places I had ever been. I don't think it was so much the location as it was the perspective I was in. In many of my trips, I had been there from the perspective of "missions", but this trip was more "real" in the sense that I got to see and experience the life of those who live there without attaching anything. Now, I've seen some real life things in other countries, sure, but I had never been somewhere where I felt so alone in my beliefs, and that was hard. But at the same time it was very eye-opening to see and experience Lebanon that way.
Anyway, I could go on and on about Lebanon and the things I saw, learned, and experienced, but this is all I'm going to post on here. :) BUT if you want to check out more about our engineering project, just check out the following links:
http://www.aub.edu.lb/news/Pages/purdue-sabra.aspx
https://engineering.purdue.edu/GEP/News/Spotlights/gdt-update-from-lebanon
There was a team of us (Bassel, Tiago, Alaina, Ji, and me), and we spent all semester working on this proposal and project. It was a lot of learning, researching, writing, and presenting, but it was definitely worth it! The trip was amazing, and I'll try to give it justice in this post (although I know I won't be able to).
Because much of our work had been done ahead of time because of the nature of our project, we had a few days of presentations and discussions once we arrived in Lebanon, but much of the time we got to really experience life and culture there. One of the neatest things about the country was all of the eras that were still able to be seen. We got to see sites that date back to the Bible, the days of the Roman and Ottoman empires, and then we got to see modern day monuments and buildings that remind us of more recent events.
There were also a lot of beautiful things in nature that we got to see. The cedars of Lebanon were definitely a sight to behold, and we also got to see much along the coast of the Mediterranean. We even got to visit a cave that is on the list to become a new world wonder! It was awesome!
Bassel was the leader of our team, and he is originally from Lebanon so it was awesome having him showing us around and explaining things to us. We also got to meet many of his friends from the American University of Beirut (AUB). Everyone was very friendly and welcoming; it made the experience very fun! We also got to meet his family; we had lunch at their house one day, and it was sooooo delicious! I could not thank everyone there enough for all their hospitality.
All of that awesomeness being said, Lebanon was one of the most challenging and eye-opening places I had ever been. I don't think it was so much the location as it was the perspective I was in. In many of my trips, I had been there from the perspective of "missions", but this trip was more "real" in the sense that I got to see and experience the life of those who live there without attaching anything. Now, I've seen some real life things in other countries, sure, but I had never been somewhere where I felt so alone in my beliefs, and that was hard. But at the same time it was very eye-opening to see and experience Lebanon that way.
Anyway, I could go on and on about Lebanon and the things I saw, learned, and experienced, but this is all I'm going to post on here. :) BUT if you want to check out more about our engineering project, just check out the following links:
http://www.aub.edu.lb/news/Pages/purdue-sabra.aspx
https://engineering.purdue.edu/GEP/News/Spotlights/gdt-update-from-lebanon
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Recent/Upcoming Life Events
Wow, so, God has been providing in crazy ways!
As I'm typing, I'm leaving in less than a week for Lebanon (the country, not the city in Indiana :p). I've been on a Global Design Team through Purdue this semester, and we've been designing a Rainwater Harvesting System for a community there, so we're traveling to propose what we've been working on. Please pray for favor and safety as we travel and while we're in the Middle East. :)
Later this summer I move to Houston to work. God provided an engineering internship for me this summer! I'm still looking for housing, but I know that He's got me covered. I'm nervous, but excited to go where He's directing me. :)
All in all, it's been a pretty rough semester academically, and in other ways too, but I know that God was there for me through it all, and He's definitely the one who gets ALL the glory for me making it through! It's been a challenge trusting Him at times, but I know that when things are in His hands, that's the best way that things can be. :)
So, that's the quick update of the semester, and I hope to post more about the amazing adventures God has provided soon :)
As I'm typing, I'm leaving in less than a week for Lebanon (the country, not the city in Indiana :p). I've been on a Global Design Team through Purdue this semester, and we've been designing a Rainwater Harvesting System for a community there, so we're traveling to propose what we've been working on. Please pray for favor and safety as we travel and while we're in the Middle East. :)
Later this summer I move to Houston to work. God provided an engineering internship for me this summer! I'm still looking for housing, but I know that He's got me covered. I'm nervous, but excited to go where He's directing me. :)
All in all, it's been a pretty rough semester academically, and in other ways too, but I know that God was there for me through it all, and He's definitely the one who gets ALL the glory for me making it through! It's been a challenge trusting Him at times, but I know that when things are in His hands, that's the best way that things can be. :)
So, that's the quick update of the semester, and I hope to post more about the amazing adventures God has provided soon :)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
It's been awhile
Wow! It's been awhile since I've written anything on here. I think I'll start again. God has been doing a lot, though, and hopefully I'll get to share some of that soon :) YAY, blog!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Worth It
Sometimes we plan things
And they fall through
Sometimes our dreams
Never become reality
Sometimes our hope
Brings disappointment
And looking back
It doesn't make sense
But we have to trust
We have to know
We must believe
That God is sovereign
His plans are greater
His dreams are bigger
His hope does not disappoint
And His promises are true
In the end we will see
It was all worth it
And they fall through
Sometimes our dreams
Never become reality
Sometimes our hope
Brings disappointment
And looking back
It doesn't make sense
But we have to trust
We have to know
We must believe
That God is sovereign
His plans are greater
His dreams are bigger
His hope does not disappoint
And His promises are true
In the end we will see
It was all worth it
Monday, August 9, 2010
Every Time
It happens like this every time
But more frequently now
When did it get this bad?
How did you get this way?
But in a way I understand
I used to be that way too
But it was different
Because I kept it all inside
But you don't, do you?
You scream it for the world
While you're running the streets
Does it help?
It's only getting worse
I never wanted this for you
I don't want it for you now
I wish I could just bring a solution
It's hard sitting here
Just watching
A part of me dies for you
Every single time
But you don't care
You don't see
No matter how hard I try
No matter what I do
I pray that you find
The freedom I have found
Freedom from hate
Freedom to forgive
But for now
Every time I will be here
Watching and praying
That it all will end
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